I’m swallowed in an engulfment of thought, yet thought of no substance. Thought of a nothingness, a nothingness so deep it seems to border something. However undeniably, it still is nothing. It’s like feeling so cold, you’re starting to burn. Fire – ice, elements that contradict and complement. Analysis, analysis, someone give me a conclusion! Andy Warhol once said, “I’m deeply superficial” Does that describe how I feel at the moment? I’m listening to Roads again. Roads always has a meaning. Unfortunately, due to its abstraction, its meaning too is usually undecipherable to one in the midst of the conflict. I just need a moment to step out and look back on everything; eliminate all external and superficial influence. I need a moment to order my thoughts. Am I doing the right thing? Maybe I should stay away. I don’t want to rush into anything, or ruin anything. Then again, is there anything there to ruin in the first place? Am I making assumptions? Forcing myself to feel? What the fuck am I doing? Honestly.
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