I just want this to end.

I've been downloading countless numbers of Owl City songs today. A clear representation of my current mood; soft, sad and mellow. Not a mood I'm allowed to feel though.. Just like the rules set for me addressing my happiness: not allowed that either. I tell those I spend time with how surprised and happy I am regarding a current happening in my life, it's called being big headed. No, it's just being proud of yourself, thrilled that your self-esteem issues aren't really valid. However, obviously those who have caused you your self-esteem issues are going to  get angry when you seem to have overcome them.

I want a new start, a new beginning, new people. I don't want people who bring up things that happened in 6th Grade, never allowing me to move on. I find it pathetic that those who bring up such long forgotten events, become touchy when I bring up events from months ago. Well guess what, karma's a bitch. You can put on a fake smile, but God sees you and you won't get away with what you do.

Once again, I want a new start, a new beginning, new people. People who understand me and accept me for who I am. Those who don't kiss ass, loyal friends. I'm told that I'm too picky with people and my standards are too high. All I ask for is individuality, is that too much of a quality to ask for? Are the people in my environment really so deprived of this basic quality? Pathetic, beyond pathetic.